The Morning Show with Dr Louise Mahler
Hold your power
You are standing in front of the board and your opinionated-long-term-full-of-
“You need to listen” you tell yourself.
So often people speak up for a variety of reasons: to show themselves as ‘industry expert’, to hear their own voice, or, in all honesty, they have always done it and now it’s just habit.
Let’s think differently and may I suggest it may be more beneficial to briefly ‘look and sound like’ you are listening (I get that will raise some hackles) and at the same time, keep the power. Listening is not always listening. There is listening and there is holding your power.
In these circumstances the 10 tips of Celeste Headless – ‘How to have a better Conversation’ (one of the 5 most watched TED talks ever), may not serve you. For instance, ‘setting yourself aside’ in the conversation is not what is always required. People, in fact, can play on that.
In contrast, the way to ‘sound like you are listening’ is to firstly acknowledge with a ‘that’s’, ‘it’ or ‘thank you’ sentence. Avoid the word ‘I’ and never say ‘I understand’ unless you want to get into an argument.
Secondly, there is massive benefit in reflection. While rule number one is ‘never insult your audience’, I’m sorry, I have been doing this long enough to know that 99% of you read that word and say “yes, yes, yes”, but, in reality, you never do it.
And there are two good reasons to try.
Firstly, research shows that people need to hear you have heard them before they will let it drop and secondly, and possibly more importantly, it about buying time!
It made me think, but stop, so much of what I do with clients is about holding power, it almost needs a new word – how about ‘glistening’?
We are not always having a conversation and we are not always listening.
Sometimes we need to hold our power through ‘glistening’
What I've been up to!
It’s been a fabulous couple of weeks, speaking in Cairns, Sydney, and Traralgon, running the Platform Professionals Speaker Retreat at the Healesville Country Club and leadership programs for Women in Banking and Finance and Baxter, plus a Tv appearance, multiple media publications and coaching. And I love every minute of it.
This coming week is Louise's last retreat
of the year.Watch this space for next year!
“I attended Louise Mahler’s Confident Leader Retreat three months ago, and I can honestly say I have used skills and techniques learnt every single day since.
Louise is a master in her craft and through an engaging three days, we were informed, inspired, challenged and critiqued in a supportive and entertaining way to step up as confident leaders.
I left the retreat with new insights and confidence to deal with many leadership situations, including how to structure and deliver an engaging presentation.
If you’re a current or aspiring leader, I highly recommend the Confident Leader Retreat. You will gain invaluable skills for impact and influence!”
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