Its all in the eyes

ITS ALL IN THE EYES – It should be all about the Queen, but, passing through Germany today I see the media is all abuzz about the fab 4 and I thought I’d help out with a few words. Here they are.

If you ever want to know what someone is thinking, the eyes have it. 

 

Most people don’t understand how or why their eyes move or why they even blink. It is common to believe that the eyes stay still and we blink because of the environment, but this is far from the truth. 

 

However, people in the public eye (pun intended) learn to control their eye movement and even the blink rate. It isn’t about ‘faking’ it or being constantly focused on every eye movement. It is about being in control of your mind and body and being aware of the perception of others. Some people like Kate, are acutely aware of where the cameras are placed, for instance, and she alters her body accordingly. It’s courtesy. Eventually it becomes habit. 

 

The Royals live their life under scrutiny and no couple is better than William and Kate. No one could debate they hold the fate of the royals in their hands and, as a consequence, have refined their performance to be totally congruent with themselves and who they wish to portray. They are artwork in action from a body-language perspective. 

 

As a consequence, if William chooses to ignore someone with his eyes, it has meaning. In this case that meaning is directed towards Harry and Meghan.

Its all in the eyes - Eye contact

In these pictures of the fab four, we see a stark contrast.

 

Firstly, the lack of eye contact during the whole encounter was painful to watch. Picture yourself at your son’s wedding with your acrimoniously-divorced -x-husband appearing after 20 years. This is the kind of behavior one might expect at such an event, but from two brothers at a mutual time of grieving, it speaks volumes. 

 

It is a conscious move on William’s part and says that even under these circumstances he has no intention of connecting with Harry or Meghan and shows that by not giving them the courtesy of his eyes. It is a conscious choice he is making with a strong message.

 

Another one of the rules of performance is to avoid looking down at an ‘entrance’. It sends a signal of disconnection to those watching and in Neuro-Linguistics, it is thought this often triggers a conversation with internal chitter chatter which can be negative. So, two good reasons to keep the gaze up. It’s not good for others and it’s not good for you. William and Kate keep their eyes front, while both Harry and Meghan are fixated on the ground before them.

In this next photo we see the classic royal move of insecurity. This is something Charles has always done and Harry has taken on with a vengeance. It is the ‘tell’ when you grab for your tie, or belt or jacket, at waist height, seemingly to adjust something, but actually having no effect, except to protect the body and be seen as protective. 


Note that Kate has her arms wide and her stride is forward. She is superb. Meghan, on the other hand has chosen a submission position with her elbows into the body and is more submission. Meghan also walks with each leg crossing the other as she strides (which is unstable) and fiddles with her hair as a sign of preening, which shows she is aware of how she is being perceived.

Its all in the eyes - Harry's bodyguard stance

And as they approach the gate, Harry turns on the full-strength bodyguard performance. With one hand pulling at the top of his pants (often seen as a male display of shaking the genitals), his brow is furrowed and he has strong step, with the ball of his foot lifted, heralding a stride that will conquer. At the same time his arm reaches directly across the front of Meghan as a show of protection. While she walks level with him, his hand is on top of hers almost like a bar on a gate that is protecting her from what is in front.

 

So, in summary, Kate holds her state, William makes a conscious effort to remain separate, Harry is protective and Meghan is defensive.

 

Basically it should all be about the Queen, but I could not resist.

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About Me

Dr Louise Mahler is a body language expert. With a focus on study of the mind-body relationship and business applications; providing practical inspiring improvement to global leaders.

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