How Excellent Communication Can Transform Your Life

Sometimes, privilege is hidden in life. We confuse privilege with possessions or power. But it can lie in the mystery of the Sphynx available to us all: excellent communication.

Excellent communication from leadership

In Sydney recently, I attended a small dinner party at the home of a very successful retired businessman and his family. There were the older guests (like myself—did I say that?!), a visitor from Canada, and the more youthful children.

Let’s call the head of the family, Tim.

In the course of general conversation at the table over entrées, Tim told us about his father. Before he died, in a state of advanced dementia, he would organise the carers around him like a boardroom meeting. He would clarify each person’s given role, designate a minute taker, and the other actions of a board meeting before declaring the meeting open. Everyone played along.

It made me think what a magnificent upbringing it would be to have this language/behaviour in your surroundings within the family. Personally, my father died before I finished primary school. (My mother was in shock as she wasn’t even allowed to drive a car. Those were the days!) It would certainly save a lot of time at work if everyone knew the rules of a board meeting before they were in the environment.

The boy and the baby turtles — communication in life

Even more astounding for me was this: as the evening moved on, the wine flowed (that wasn’t the astounding bit), and the conversation became heated (also not astounding), the discussion turned to the absurdity, or otherwise, of banning social media. We talked about the difficulty of the application. One guest claimed that a few youth suicides were the collateral of a modern world. (Thanks for reading this far. That is the astounding bit). You can imagine that people became heated.

As the conversation railed on, Tim sat back and all eyes turned to him. He began a story about a boy and some baby turtles. He told us how, as the hundreds of baby turtles found hatched and stumbled towards the ocean, the birds were waiting. They picked them off one by one, taking them to the grizzly death of being eaten alive. A young boy passing by began picking up little individual turtles, throwing them the long distance across the sand into the ocean. He stropped the birds from grabbing them as they lay open and helpless on the hot sand.

An old man sitting on a sandhill was astounded. He called out to the boy asking him why he bothering to do this. There was no way he could save all the turtles. Holding a little turtle aloft, the boy called back, “I can’t save all the turtles, but it will make a hell of difference to this little turtle”.

We can all learn excellent communication

We all knew this story. And we all understood the metaphor. But we sat there transfixed. It totally changed the energy and the conversation moved on to other topics. Crisis averted.

I was in awe. These were the skills of the father. This was the learnt skill of a story, the creative link of good communication. These are the skills of someone who has managed staff and boards and shareholders and driven an organisation forward to success.

While the obvious privilege when I arrived seemed to be substantial wealth, I was left thinking how this gentleman would have been successful in any environment. He had the gift of excellent communication. He may have had a successful parent, but it’s not genetic. It’s not a gift of the privileged few. It is something we can all learn it and the time to learn it is now.

Let me know your thoughts.

Love, Dr Louise Mahler