‘Man up’ with your Communication

OK, I’m being provocative here in the week of IWD with that title. So let me share the definition:

Man up = to ‘be brave or tough enough to deal with a difficult or unpleasant situation’.

That’s exactly what we need to do with our communication in a very disciplined way.

There is hardly a woman out there who does not tell me she is having difficulty being heard at her executive or board meetings, and somehow, we are not getting better.

No wonder. Some days, I want to scream at the misguided advice I hear people give each other, and I guess that’s a good sign. It shows I care.

I care enough to squirm when one of my clients in London told me she was told to be ‘bolder’. Tell me exactly how you would manifest that overnight successfully? Another Board member told me her Chair had criticised her for “thinking while she was speaking”.

Here’s the tip people: You are supposed to think when you speak!

Has there ever been a more important time to communicate? No. So, let’s get serious about what we do.

Matt Abrahams, a lecturer at Standford Graduate School of Business, in his book Think Fast, Talk Smart, uses the word heuristics to denote pragmatic methods to achieve what you want. These are what I have called frameworks. It’s not about words but a process within which you can improvise. Follow the bouncing ball of excellence.

Now, we need to get over the myths of change that do not help everyone. Actually they help few. Here are some of my latest favourite pieces of non-actionable advice:

• Be natural
• Be authentic
• Disconnect

Instead, might I suggest you:

• Develop good habits
• Have those habits so practised, you own them under pressure
• Connect, connect and connect more

Love,
Dr Louise Mahler