Your SWAT for communication
Challenge accepted and I come from a place where getting your communication skills right is absolutely critical, not just for those to whom you speak, but for yourself, because without the skills, confidence can shatter (I see it daily). I believe it so strongly that I have spent most of my life studying and resolving the problem.
It’s not an original thought. The Romans viewed delivery not just as a technical skill but as an art form, requiring careful training and practice. They believed that a speaker’s physical presence and vocal control could significantly enhance their persuasive power and that these things are all in our grasp.
Losing these skills is a modern crisis.
This week, I spoke to a client who thought she had all the answers, but was still struggling, it caught my attention that it is so essential to get rid of some common paradigms. Paradigms (mind sets) are a major block to progress and we just can’t see them. So here is the test:
Ask yourself,
“How is that working for you?”
If the answer is,
“It’s not”.
Sound familiar? I put it to you, it’s time to make a change.
Let’s focus on one simple skill – Eyes.
Here are some of the worrying signs. If you are:
- looking at the person in a group who is smiling at you
- telling me you know all about eyes, but look everywhere but straight ahead
- gravitating towards your leader constantly with your eyes
- using notes as an eye escape
- thinking the place to look is above the nose between the eyes
- thinking eye contact is staring
. . . . . . you may be stuck in some ineffective paradigms.
Did these points trigger anything for you?
There’s no time to die. There’s a bottomless pit of work to be done. So here are some reframing thoughts to help shift those paradigms.
- the person in the group smiling at you is the person you already have on board. Look at those who seem disinterested.
- ask someone to ask you personal questions. Lie! It doesn’t matter what you answer, just make sure you have the ability to NEVER move your eyes unless you choose consciously to do so. Remember, you just need the ability. This is not what you do all the time.
- ask others where you look most
- drop the notes and use memory techniques
- the place to look is into the eyes directly, not around the eyes
- staring is eye contact with limited blinking. Try nodding and blinking approximately 15 times per minute. That is not longer staring.
Share with me of your thoughts and experiences.
Love,
Dr Louise Mahler
